Touring Domino City with Yami Bakura
by Silvershadowfire
Summary: Ryou gets sick and persuades his yami to guide a group of Duelmonsters fans around Domino City...Rated for language


This is a result of Cha Oseye Tempest Thrain's The Rookie Agent (Check it out if you're a Without A Trace fan) … And DracOnyx's Affectionate Thoughts from a Disturbed Mind…which is also from Yami Bakura's POV. Please don't think that I'm stealing anything…I just happened to be reading their stories and this rabid plot bunny came hopping through…

**Touring Domino City with Yami Bakura**

Just my luck…my hikari gets the bright idea to make some spending money over the summer, and it involves me. I don't earn money…I steal it.

Nevertheless, here I am, standing on the porch pretending to be Ryou's twin and keeping his customers happy. Such fun…watching a pile of twits who want to see all the famous sites of Domino City…and will even pay for it!

Idiots.

I glance at the clock – it's almost one, time for the next group to head out…pretty big bunch this time. 20 people at 15000 yen each…eh, not bad, yadoushi.

Although I can steal a hundred times that and it doesn't involve so much walking.

:Bakura:

I jerk upright. :Ryou? Where are you, baka:

:I'm not feeling well, Bakura – it must have been something I ate.:

:What do you mean you're sick? You're not allowed to be sick! You have people waiting here.:

:Well, I was thinking…:

:What:

:Maybe you could…:

:No.:

:But Bakura…:

:No.:

:But I could lose my job if no one gives the tour, and you know the routine as well as I do.:

:I said no.:

:Bakura…please:

He's using the fucking equivalent to the puppy dog eyes. :Fine. But you owe me for this.:

"Alright, people, shut your traps and listen up. Your regular guide is sick and I'm going to have to do the tour." And I'm going to so make Ryou pay for roping me into this.

We head down the road on foot – it's a walking tour for the most part. Thank Ra, because Ryou has the car and he won't let me drive it anyway.

No idea why.

"First stop is the Black Crown Game Store…"

"Why are we going there first?"

"Because it's closest."

"But I want to see the Kame Game Shop…"

I clench my fists. "We're NOT going to the Kame Game Shop." Damn noisy people. "Shut up. This is Black Crown Games, home of Otogi Ryujii. He's the creator of Dungeon Dice Monsters. He's also a girly twit."

One of the girls sighs. "But he's so dreamy…"

Oh Ra. A fangirl. I hate fangirls. "Don't hold your breath; he's gay."

"That just makes him cooler…" I resist the urge to slap her silly, mainly because it would be a wasted effort.

Wait. Fangirls. I take a second look at the tour group – mostly female, mostly ditzy. Hmm…A wicked smile crosses my face. Maybe we will go to the Kame Game Shop after all – especially if I let them go inside, which isn't usually done on the tours… hehehehe. I just hope the Pharaoh's home.

"Alright, come on you lot. Next stop is Kaiba Corp, home of Seto Kaiba and his ego." Personally, I think he needs that big building just to house them both.

I don't have to point it out. That fucking eyesore can be seen from every part of Domino City – you can't get lost around here as long as you know how to get home from Kaiba Corp. I think he's compensating for other…shortcomings. A limo rolls past us – well well, it's blue-eyes boy himself. He gets out of the limo and looks around with that cold 'I'm better than you' expression of his…I wonder if he practices in front of a mirror?

Hehehe. Let's see if we can ruin his day. "Alright…let's go say 'hi.' I murmur, leading my little group across the street. One of the twits spots him and squeals. "Oh my God, it's Kaiba!"

Fuck. Damned bodyguards, ruining my fun. I should lock their souls away or feed them to my bug…but it wouldn't make any difference. Kaiba's gone and the girls are back with me.

Joy.

Next stop, the Kame Game Shop – but first I have to do a little scouting. I lead them along to a café, pointing out spots on the street. Where the dog took on that Esper Roba lameass. Where 'Yugi Mutou' beat Malik's stooge with all the Exodia cards. I leave them at the café getting drinks and slip off to the Game Shop. Where is the baka Pharaoh anyway? There…no, that's little Yugi. He's minding the shop, is he?

I sneak around the building, intending on breaking in, when I spot him. It's all I can do not to laugh…this is perfect…the great and powerful Pharaoh is doing the laundry! Doesn't he know that's what hikaris are for?

I sneak back to the café as quick as I can, and gather up the twits. I have to get them there before the Pharaoh finishes up and heads inside.

"Alright you lot…next stop, the Kame Game Shop!" Oh Apep…this is going to be great. They're all so…enthused. Hehehehe… I spend the whole way to the shop stoking the fires of that enthusiasm as I lead them around to the back of the building.

I must have done something right in a previous life. There he is, bending over a laundry basket, royal ass in the air. To make things even better, he's wearing his leather ensemble – with an apron. Oh, this is just priceless. I only wish I had a camera.

"Ladies and gentleman…may I present the King of Games?" I say it loud enough for him to hear – and the expression on his face is perfect as he jerks around, eyes huge, clothespins dropping from his mouth. The squeal of fangirls echo through the sky as they charge him.

He is going to send me to the Shadow Realm for this…but it's worth a short vacation there to see the mighty Pharaoh running for his life from rabid fangirls. I haven't laughed this hard in years.

I didn't know he could climb a tree that fast. He's looking a little ragged around the edges, and that silly apron of his is almost ripped from his body. The glare he sends me could fry ice; I can just make out his lips moving… "I'm going to kill you again for this, tomb robber!"

I bow mockingly and give him my best smirk. Then an evil little thought runs through my mind…

I wonder if he does the laundry every Thursday?


End file.
